More Than Fidgeting: Understanding Sensory Needs in Neurodivergent Children

As parents, we often observe our children’s behaviours and try to make sense of them. A child might be unable to sit still in a chair, constantly fidgeting or tapping their feet. Another might be overly sensitive to the seams on their socks or the hum of the refrigerator. We might label these as quirks, or, in moments of frustration, as “bad behaviour.”

But what if these actions aren’t just random habits? What if they are a form of communication, a window into a child’s internal world? For many neurodivergent children, these behaviours are directly linked to their sensory needs. They are an attempt to regulate a nervous system that is either overstimulated or understimulated.

Understanding this crucial concept of sensory processing is the first step in a parent’s journey toward reducing meltdowns, building routines, and creating a calmer, more predictable home environment. This article will go far beyond a surface-level explanation, diving deep into what sensory needs are, why they manifest in different ways, and how you can apply practical, compassionate strategies to support your child.

The Eight Senses: It’s More Than You Think

When we think of our senses, we typically list five: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. For neurodivergent children, however, understanding the role of the lesser-known senses is critical. These hidden senses often have the biggest impact on a child’s behaviour and emotional state.

Proprioception: The Sense of Body Position

This is the sense of body position and movement. It tells us where our body is in space without having to look. Children with proprioceptive needs may enjoy activities that provide deep pressure, such as hugging tightly, wearing weighted blankets, or pushing and pulling heavy objects. They may also be clumsy, have difficulty with fine motor skills like writing, or prefer rough-and-tumble play.

Vestibular: The Sense of Balance and Movement

This sense is all about balance and movement. It’s located in the inner ear and helps us understand where our head is in relation to the ground. A child with vestibular needs may seek out fast-moving activities like spinning, swinging, or jumping. Conversely, a child who is sensitive to vestibular input might avoid playgrounds, be prone to car sickness, or have a fear of heights.

Interoception: The Internal Sense

This is the internal sense that tells us what’s happening inside our bodies. It’s what lets us know we’re hungry, thirsty, hot, or that we need to go to the bathroom. Children with poor interoceptive awareness may struggle to identify and communicate their internal feelings, which can lead to unexpected emotional outbursts or physical discomfort. This is often linked to difficulties with emotional regulation, which you can learn more about in our guide on Understanding Sensory Processing.

When a child’s brain struggles to accurately interpret and respond to input from these eight senses, it can be a recipe for misunderstanding and frustration. It’s not about being disobedient; it’s about a nervous system that is constantly on high alert or desperately seeking stimulation to feel grounded.

The Two Sides of Sensory Processing: Seeking vs. Avoiding

The way a neurodivergent child responds to sensory input typically falls into one of two categories: sensory seeking or sensory avoidance. Understanding which category a child falls into is the key to providing the right kind of support.

Sensory Seeking: When More is Better

A sensory seeker is a child who craves more sensory input to feel “just right.” Their nervous system is understimulated and requires a constant flow of information to stay regulated. This often manifests in behaviours that are easily misinterpreted as hyperactivity or a lack of focus.

Types of Sensory Seekers:

• Tactile (Touch) Seekers: They might constantly touch people or objects, fidget with things in their hands, or enjoy messy play.
• Vestibular (Movement) Seekers: These are the children who are constantly on the move. They love spinning, swinging, running, and jumping.
• Oral Seekers: Children who seek oral input might chew on their shirt collars, sleeves, or non-food objects. This can be a significant factor in mealtime struggles, as highlighted in our post on food aversions in neurodivergent children.
• Proprioceptive (Deep Pressure) Seekers: They may lean on people, push down hard on their pencil when writing, or enjoy wearing tight clothes.

Sensory Avoidance: When Less is More

A sensory avoider is the opposite. Their nervous system is easily overwhelmed, and they try to block out as much sensory input as possible to feel safe and regulated. Their avoidance can be mistaken for being shy, defiant, or overly sensitive.

Types of Sensory Avoiders:

• Tactile (Touch) Avoiders: These children may have a very strong reaction to certain clothing textures, tags, or seams.
• Auditory (Hearing) Avoiders: They might cover their ears in noisy environments, get distressed by loud or unexpected sounds.
• Visual (Sight) Avoiders: A child who is visually sensitive may be bothered by bright or fluorescent lights, prefer to be in dimly lit rooms.

These behaviours aren’t a choice; they are a necessary coping mechanism. Without the right strategies, both sensory seekers and avoiders can experience heightened stress and anxiety.

The Impact of Unmet Sensory Needs

When a child’s sensory needs are not met, the consequences can be far-reaching, affecting their emotional, social, and academic life. An understimulated child might constantly seek out stimulation, leading to disruptive behaviour in the classroom or at home. An overstimulated child might enter a state of fight-or-flight, leading to a meltdown that seems to come out of nowhere.

Related Resources for Understanding Sensory Impact

The connection between sensory needs and other areas of development is crucial:

• Little Feelings, Big Deal: Validating and Supporting Emotional Expression in Neurodivergent Children - Understanding emotional regulation challenges.
• Non-Verbal Communication Guide - Alternative ways children express needs.
• Why “Just Try Harder” Doesn’t Work: Understanding Demand Avoidance in Neurodivergent Kids - How sensory issues affect learning and behavior.

Meltdowns and Emotional Regulation

A child who is overstimulated can quickly lose control. The sensory input overwhelms their nervous system, and their ability to regulate their emotions completely breaks down. What looks like a tantrum is actually an involuntary stress response.

Communication Challenges

A child struggling with sensory input might not be able to communicate their needs effectively. They might use a single sound or action to express their distress because their brain is too overwhelmed to process and articulate complex thoughts.

Social and Learning Difficulties

Sensory challenges can make social situations incredibly difficult. A child who is sensitive to touch may find it challenging to play with other children. A child who is sensitive to sound may struggle to engage in a conversation at a birthday party. The classroom is a highly sensory environment that can be overwhelming for children with sensory sensitivities.

Practical Strategies for Compassionate Support

So, what can you do to help? The goal isn’t to eliminate all sensory input, but to provide a consistent, predictable environment that helps your child feel regulated and safe.

Create a Proactive Sensory Diet

A sensory diet is not a diet in the traditional sense. It’s a structured and consistent set of activities designed to provide the right amount of sensory input throughout the day to keep a child’s nervous system in a regulated state.

For Sensory Seekers:

Offer regular opportunities for intense sensory input:

• Using a mini trampoline for jumping
• Playing with therapy putty or a weighted lap pad during seated activities
• Providing crunchy snacks (if appropriate) for oral stimulation
• Scheduling time for spinning, swinging, or rolling

Our guide on Sensory Activities at Home: Simple Ways to Support Neurodivergent Children offers many ideas.

For Sensory Avoiders:

The focus should be on creating a calming, predictable environment:

• Offer quiet time in a “sensory-safe” space
• Use noise-cancelling headphones in noisy places
• Provide neutral-coloured clothing and remove tags and seams
• Avoid sudden surprises or transitions

Our guide on Creating a Sensory-Friendly Home offers practical steps to create a sanctuary.

Proactive Communication and Preparation

For a neurodivergent child, a surprise is not fun; it’s a potential sensory crisis. You can significantly reduce stress and the likelihood of a meltdown by preparing your child for new situations.

Use a visual schedule to lay out the day’s events. This helps the child predict what’s coming and gives them time to prepare for any sensory-challenging activities. Our guide on Creating Visual Schedules is an excellent resource for this.

What to Do in a Moment of Overload

When a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed, they are not able to process logic or reason. The goal is to get them to a place of safety and regulation, not to talk them out of their feelings.

• Remove the Stimulus: If possible, take the child away from the overwhelming sensory input.
• Provide a Calming Stimulus: Offer a preferred deep pressure activity, like a firm hug or weighted blanket.
• Breathe: Encourage deep, slow breaths. You can model this for them.

For more detailed support, refer to our guide on Managing Sensory Overload.

How Tediverse Can Help

All of these strategies require one key thing: a way to track, remember, and communicate your child’s unique sensory needs and the interventions that actually work. This is exactly what Tediverse was built for.

Our Daily Tracking Suite allows you to log sensory-related behaviours, what triggered them, and what intervention was successful. Over time, you can use our detailed analytics to see patterns, identify triggers, and build a proactive sensory diet that is unique to your child.

The platform also helps you create and share the Visual Schedules that are so critical for predictability. And by centralizing all your notes and data, you have a powerful tool to communicate with your child’s entire care circle, from teachers to therapists.

Conclusion: Beyond Behavior to Understanding

Understanding your child’s sensory needs is a profound act of love. It’s an acknowledgment that their experience of the world is valid and that their behaviours are often a form of communication. With the right tools and knowledge, you can move past the frustration of a child who “just won’t sit still” and begin a journey of compassion, understanding, and empowerment.

The journey from seeing fidgeting as misbehavior to understanding it as a vital form of self-regulation is transformative. It opens the door to a more compassionate, effective approach to parenting neurodivergent children.

Remember, every child’s sensory profile is unique. What works for one child may not work for another. The key is observation, patience, and a willingness to adapt your approach based on what you learn about your child’s specific needs.

Related Resources

• Sensory Processing Disorder: The Hidden Barrier to Learning
• Sensory Activities at Home: Simple Ways to Support Neurodivergent Children
• Mealtime Meltdowns: Understanding Food Aversions in Neurodivergent Children